Complicated

NOTES:

Author: Yana
Rating: NC-17 for, like, smut
Spoilers: None come to mind
Archive: SotU, of course. Others please ask.
Disclaimers: All the characters or mentions of characters in this story that you find vaguely recognizable aren't mine. I'm just offering up some nonprofit Mary Sue fantasy.

"Oh..."

"Oh...JOSH!"

"Oh...Donna...Donna!"

Even in the midst of all this, I chuckled. I really was having the best time. "It's Diana, Josh."

"Sorry..."

"S'okay..." I grinned. But I knew the shadow had passed across his face again. Three orgasms into a four hour relationship, I wasn't going to complain. I clenched myself around his cock, just to y'know, reassure him that he hadn't killed the mood.

******

I had seen that shadow before, when I first asked him back to my place. When I saw him in the bar, he had the most amazing smile and intelligent brown eyes, but he had been drinking alone. I'd just wrapped up a major research project that day and was looking to celebrate. This meant spending just a little bit of time by myself; I loved my colleagues dearly but after so much togetherness during the project, it was a relief to get the hell away from them and think about something other than black-capped chickadees. My work was going to save a number of endangered indicator species in our Carolinian forests; I was basking in the glow of a job well done.

I had just finished my first beer when I heard him arguing with the bartender about the game replay on TSN. He was a damn fine looking man without a wedding ring, so I sidled over to him and ordered another drink, pretending to watch the game. Threw out one or two brief yet insightful comments about the Patriots' recent performance. 'Nuff said.

He certainly did his fair share in keeping up the conversation. He seemed to love the sound of his own voice. After trading witty remarks and jokes back and forth for an hour or so, I grinned and propositioned him.

That's when I saw the shadow. It was a look of frustration and guilt and something else all mixed together. His whole body tensed just for a moment before he schooled his features.

"Oh, hell. I'm sorry. You're married." I made it a statement rather than a question.

"No, no. It's just - complicated."

"We'll leave it at that, then." I said with a polite smile, moving to put a little extra personal space between us.

"Okay. It's just..."

"Josh, it's fine." I interrupted. "You're really good looking and funny and charming and I was hoping we could have some fun together tonight. That's all."

"Really?"

"Really."

He smirked. Thank heavens I was sitting down. That smile was a killer.  I think something probably showed on my face. Naked lust, y'know, or whatever.

"I can do fun."

Now it was my turn to grin. "Can you?"

"Yeah."

"Really?"

"Really."

I kept my hands off him completely during the chilly walk back to my condo. Once we stepped inside the elevator, though, I grabbed the lapels of his trenchcoat and pulled his face down to my level.

"Hi."

"Hi."

I smiled and brushed my lips softly across his. And the shadow made another appearance. His mind was definitely not on me.

"I'm sorry." he murmured. "It's just...I don't think..."

"What?" I asked softly.

He drew a breath. "Don't take this the wrong way, but...well...I'm not comfortable kissing you...anyone, really... It's -"

"Complicated." I finished.

Now, a better woman than I would have let this whole idea go. Thrown him back in the sea, so to speak; let him go work out his demons on his own. Not me, though. At work I was constantly having to reject young, bright-eyed grad students of both sexes throwing themselves at me for what I could do for their careers. I was tired of it. Tonight, I wanted something for myself alone. Something honest. Something normal. Have I mentioned the naked lust?

I reached up and cupped the back of his neck, tangling my fingers in his hair. "Is this okay?" I asked.

He relaxed back into my hand as I started to rub the tense muscles in his neck "Yeah." he said, closing his eyes.

"How about this?" I stood on tiptoe and nuzzled the soft skin underneath his jaw. I swiped my tongue through the little valley behind his ear and gave him a gentle nip.

He made a noise. It didn't sound like a rejection.

The elevator door opened. He opened his eyes and met my gaze directly.

"Come in." I told him. "Just for a while."

"Are you going to tell me you don't bite?" he joked weakly.

"I think it's clear that I do." I grinned back. "How do you feel about, 'Hey, babe, don't worry, we won't do anything you don't want to do?' "

"You'll be gentle?" A real smile this time.

"Seriously." I said.

"Okay."

******

"Just so we're clear," I said, taking his coat for him. "You're not married."

"No."

"Okay. And you don't want me to kiss you."

"I don't know," he said, striding away from me towards the living room and dropping on the couch with an exasperated sigh. "I just felt...strange when you kissed me on the lips."

The shadow was making another appearance as I came in from locking the door. "But you didn't seem to mind me touching your neck." I observed.

"No."

I plunked myself down on the couch next to him. "How about we set some ground rules?" I asked. "Tell me what you aren't comfortable with, and we'll work around it."

"I don't know if I can do that," he admitted. "I mean, I didn't know about the kissing thing until-"

I cut him off by placing an open mouthed kiss on his neck. He made another noise. Just call me the seduction queen.

"Is that okay?"

"Um, yeah."

I took this opportunity to curl up next to him, throwing one of my legs across his lap. I began pressing soft, gentle kisses to his jaw in earnest, heating his skin with my breath. One of my hands landed on the back of his head while the other used his shoulder for leverage.

"This?"

"Yeah," he whispered.

My hand wandered down to his shirt. I had to break off the kissing to unknot his tie with both hands. His head had fallen back against the couch and his eyes were closed. I undid the top few buttons and slid my hands under the material to his shoulders. Pressing him against the back of the couch, I repositioned myself so that I was straddling him completely, then set to work massaging the tension out of his upper chest.

"Okay?" I murmured softly after a few minutes of this.

"Yes."

He made a wonderful picture lying back against the couch, his hair curling against the upholstery and his shirt half open in this sexily disheveled way. His eyes were closed and he had relaxed into my hands, just letting me do things for him. His skin became warmer to the touch and his lips parted just slightly as I worked my way down his torso.

I had avoided sitting completely in his lap as I worked. If he had doubts, it wouldn't do to scare him away by immediately grinding my crotch against his. Now, however, it was time to take just a quick look at how he was really doing.

Not bad. A definite start.

I slid off the couch and parted his legs so that I could kneel between them on the floor. My hands finished opening his shirt and I pushed it back so that I could see his whole glorious chest. He had great muscles, well defined but not overly bulky, and just enough brown, curling hair to make a girl reflect on the prospect of spooning up against its soft warmth every cold winter night for the rest of her natural life.

Hmmm.

Back in the real world, I realized my hands had been softly stroking him from his waist to his shoulders and back again. His eyes were still closed, his whole body completely inactive. Palming a nipple with each hand, I placed my open, wet mouth right under his collarbone and sucked hard.

His arms suddenly grasped me, clutching at my back and bringing me into full contact with his chest. I brushed my tongue against the skin I had just sucked and then moved my head over a little to find a new place to taste. He groaned and wound one of his hands into my hair. After a few nips of my own, he began to take control, using both hands to move my head to his nipples. I was happy to comply and flicked them with my tongue, licking them both wetly before sucking each one in in turn. His groans grew louder as I worked them over and he grabbed my head convulsively as I set up a rhythm with my mouth.

All of a sudden he pushed my head down off of his chest. Nearly eye level with his navel, I nuzzled it and licked the soft skin underneath. When I bit down gently, he cried out.

And now I finally felt it, a hard ridge pressing against my neck and collarbone. Excellent. I raised myself on my knees so that my breasts could cradle it between them and started rubbing my body up and down his length, my hands on his waist.

His eyes were open, watching me undulate over his lower body. He grabbed my face in both hands then, stopping me.

"Everything okay?" I must be a masochist - if I kept asking, one of these times he was going to say no.

"You're wearing too many clothes."

Phew. I made a pact with myself not to say the word "Okay" again tonight.

Smiling, I whipped my sweater off over my head and tossed it behind me. The lace of my camisole always makes a better impression anyway.

"Come up here," he said. I made as if to climb up next to him, but he pulled me into his lap. Moving quickly, he stripped off my camisole and skirt.

"Off," he said, snapping the waistband of my pantyhose. I stood, marvelling at how quickly he had become the aggressor. As I bent down to the floor to pull my nylons off my toes he came up behind me, pushing his still clothed erection against my bottom. I straightened slowly and he began to touch me.

He spent very little time on preliminaries, raking his hands over my thighs and belly before covering both breasts and squeezing them firmly. My head fell back on his shoulder and I exhaled, letting him support me as he massaged through the fabric of my bra. His hands left my breasts, one gripping me firmly around the waist while the other worked my panties off my hips and let them slide to the ground. Holding me close, he rubbed his clothed erection against my naked ass.

Then, without warning, his fingers buried themselves between by legs. I gasped and bucked against his hand. He took a minute or two to explore me slowly, his fingers finding a few different ways to make me gasp or yelp. Then he zeroed in on my clit and all of a sudden I was coming, throwing my head back and crying out once.

Breathless, I turned in his arms, wanting only to plunge into his mouth with mine. His hand came up quickly to cup my cheek, stopping me from getting closer. I made a frustrated noise and retaliated by cupping his hard on and squeezing it gently through his trousers. Now it was his turn to groan. We rested our heads on each other's shoulders and I contented myself with trying to leave the biggest hickey I could on the side of his neck. It wasn't a particularly mature strategy, but the no-kissing thing was getting to me. We stood in silence for a few moments as I stroked him and sucked at his skin.

Then he took hold of my wrist. I raised my head to look into his eyes.

"Before we go any further," he started. "A couple of things..."

"Glad you brought it up," I said with a little forced cheerfulness. This wasn't turning out to be the happy barrel of fun I'd hoped. "The bedroom's through that way. Get going. I'll get the condoms out of the fridge and meet you there in two shakes of a lamb's tail."

"Diana, I...what? Fridge?" He probably had had a coherent, serious thought in there.

"It's a cool dark place, Josh," I smirked. "I wanted to make absolutely sure the latex doesn't deteriorate."

"Well I can certainly think of something that might deteriorate..."

"I'll warm 'em up first, I promise," I grinned, grasping him again through his trousers.

"Aaaah...you better..." he grunted. He pulled my hand away again. "Listen..."

"Josh," I interrupted. "I'm only here for the week." Hopefully that would preempt his concerns.

"Oh." Maybe not.

"I keep this place as a home base," I continued. "But I live wherever my work takes me, y'know? After my business in DC is finished, I probably won't be back again for a while." I paused. He said nothing.

"I'm sorry." I said. "I shouldn't try and mind read. What were you going to say?"

"What's your business?" he asked. Huh?

"I'm sorry?"

"I - I just realized I don't even know your last name. What do you do?"

So let's review. I ask this strange guy back to my place, where he strips me nearly naked, refuses to kiss me, and gets me to orgasm as casually as if he were popping the cork off a champagne bottle. Now, instead of the hand job I think it's clear I'm offering, he wants to get to know me.

Okay.

"My last name is Janes. Dr. Diana Janes. I'm a scientist." I added unnecessarily. Maybe another orgasm would help me articulate better. I shifted in his arms and wrapped mine around his waist, under the fabric of his open dress shirt. Since we were chatting, I might as well enjoy the tickle of chest hair against my skin.

"And why are you here?" he queried, raising his eyebrows.

"Why does anyone come to DC? I'm playing politics." I said, tightening my grip on him. He really did have a fabulous chest. "We're taking a few meetings, the White House, some congressmen, the usual."

"You're coming to the White House?" he asked, tensing a little.

"Not me personally, " I said. "My colleague looks more the part for that meeting."

"How so?" he frowns.

"You know - responsible, sober, thoughtful, older - " I said. "I look too young and brilliant to be taken seriously by Toby Ziegler. Who's never been environmentalists' greatest ally."

"You're Diana Janes," he repeated, turning my name over in his head. "Of Janes and Power?"

"You've read our stuff?" I was surprised. Only my peers had reviewed our work. And the politicians we...oh.

"You're a politician?" I asked.

"Don't sound so surprised," he grinned.

"At the White House?"

"Yup." Big smirk.

"Why are you smiling?"

"No reason." My ass.

"My partner's meeting with Toby Ziegler."

"Yes."

"You're not him."

"No!"

"That was a little forceful," I said. "You know him?"

"Yup."

I paused. "I really want to ask, y'know."

"I can tell," he grinned.

I sighed and smiled. "No." I said.

"You won't?"

"No."

"You don't  want to know?"

"I do. But I want the evidence to be convincing all on its own."

"So you're passing up a prime opportunity to pump me for information."

"Well," I drawled. "I wouldn't mind the pumping part..."

He groaned, either because of the bad joke or because my hand was yet again squeezing his cock.

I stopped. "Okay. Anything else you wanted to know before we go on?"

"No, I'm good," he muttered into my neck.

"Good." I stepped back from him and grasped the sides of his open shirt, then yanked down roughly, baring him to the waist. "The bedroom's that way." I pushed him in the right general direction. "I'll just get, y'know, from the fridge."

He didn't move.

"Should I get anything else while I'm in there? An ice cube? Ice cream?"

He shivered involuntarily and gave me a look.

"Hey. I promise I'll warm it and you up. Get going." I headed in the direction of the kitchen.

He grabbed my arm. "Wait."

"What?"

He was smiling. Ah, those dimples. "Stand still and shut your eyes."

"Okay." I complied, suddenly a little nervous.

He found the clasp of my bra and I spilled out into his warm hands.

"Mmmm. Wh-"

"Shh," he said. "Keep your eyes closed and just feel."

I felt his warm, wet tongue circle one of my nipples while the other was pinched firmly between his thumb and forefinger. The two sensations together made me cry out. He took the tip of my breast into his mouth fully then, sucking hard. My hands fell to his shoulders, seeking desperately for support. No sooner had I grabbed hold than he rushed me up against the doorway to the kitchen, bracing my hips flat against the doorframe with one hand. Heat rushed through me, flaming my cheeks, wetting my sex, and making my skin tingle.

He switched breasts, salving my pinched nipple with his tongue and then taking it into his mouth. He shifted his grip so that one forearm rested across my collarbone, pushing my spine up hard against the doorframe. His mouth never left my breasts as he pressed his other hand against my mound, massaging it gently with his palm. His finger slid down and started circling my clit, brushing it gently at first and then pressing against it more insistently.

I was getting lost in the feel of his teeth and tongue on my breasts and his hand playing through the folds of my sex, all mixed with the discomfort of my position. I writhed and moaned loudly, caught between his forearm and the hard wood of the doorway, though in fact his arm was all that kept me from folding up like a rag doll.

I took longer this time, wading through the hot thick murk of sensation, but he was persistent and eventually I surrendered, yelling my pleasure and pain as I came.

Heedless of the cold tile beneath me, I flopped onto the floor and tried to catch my breath.

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah," I panted, though I wasn't. Both the tingling and the discomfort of the doorway still hummed through my body.

"Your eyes are still closed." They were, squeezed tight shut, but not because of his original request.

"Can I open them?"

"Yes." I did, slowly, and saw he was sitting across from me, smiling again.

"So, where are those condoms?" he asked, getting up.

"In the butter compartment."

"Where's the butter?"

"That stuff'll kill you." I joked weakly.

"Got it. You just sit tight here for a second," he said, disappearing.

I really didn't feel like arguing. A minute or so later he came back.

"Ready?" he asked, pulling me to my feet.

I took a couple of deep breaths and shook myself. "Yeah."

He swept me off my feet then and carried me, honeymoon style, to the bedroom.

How nice. And he'd lit the candle by my bed. He laid me down and tugged so that I was lying on my stomach. I turned my head so I could look up at him standing beside me.

"So," he said. "I'm thinking your back might be a little sore from when I -"

"Yeah," I interrupted. "But y'know it's a good pain." I smiled.

He climbed on top of me then, straddling my thighs and leaning forward to touch the traces of red on my skin between my shoulder blades. "Maybe this'll make it feel better," he said. I heard a crinkling noise just before it happened.

"Gaaaah..." I yelped. "That's cold!"

"Yup." I couldn't see him but I knew he was grinning.

"Did you just dump a whole box of individually wrapped refrigerated condoms on my back?"

"Yup," he said, rearranging the packets so they covered more of my skin. It actually felt pretty good. "You know, there's like more than twenty here and they're due to expire in less than six months. What's with the big box? Wishful thinking?" He was laughing at me now.

"I had plans." I mumbled rather sourly. "Tell you what. Whatever we don't go through tonight you can take with you. Merry Christmas."

"I'm Jewish."

"Happy Chanukah then. It's a gift that keeps on giving, y'know." I paused. "Besides, you'll be able to put them to much better use."

"I doubt it," he admitted. "I probably haven't needed them any more than you, lately."

"Really?" Why did I ask that? I wondered, kicking myself.

"It's - just - "

"Complicated?" I finished. Damn. How did we get back here again? Curse my empathetic nature.

I turned over so I could face him, spilling the condoms onto the bed. He still straddled my legs, looming over me.

"Can I give you some free advice?" I continued, not waiting for an answer. "Speaking as someone who's let opportunities slip through my fingers - things are really only as complicated as you make them. There will always be a million reasons why you should say no to something and there's only one reason why you should say yes."

He sat back, digesting this. "What's the one reason?"

"The one reason to say yes?"

"Yes."

"Because you want to say yes."

"That's...dumb..." he blinked.

"It isn't. If you want to say yes badly enough, you'll work through all those other reasons."

"That's a rather simplistic view." Sarcasm now.

"It's a simple view," I insisted. "There's a difference - in my scenario, you actually have to work through your own feelings to figure out what you want. But y'know, if the whole 'complicated' thing is working for you..."

And that, folks, is why my friend Mark Power was going to take the high level White House meeting tomorrow. My tactfulness has never been a source of comfort for me.

Josh made as if to climb off me, angry. I reached up and grabbed him by the belt, yanking hard so his amazing bare chest landed on top of me with a thump.

"I don't want to argue." I said softly, looking into his eyes. He was already looking less angry. Or y'know, like he'd had the wind knocked out of him. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

He looked away, his face inches from mine. I shifted my legs so that he was settled firmly between my thighs and locked my ankles together just under his ass. Then I put my arms around his neck. Pulling his ear down to my mouth, I nipped at the lobe. "Let's review," I ground out softly. "There's a beautiful, naked, willing woman writhing" - I paused to wriggle my hips - "underneath you. She's holding on to you for dear life." I tightened my arms and legs around him.  "She clearly wants you." I bucked my hips again for emphasis. "Say yes."

He pulled back to look at my face.

"Say yes." I repeated.

"Yes."

"Excellent." I rolled him onto his back, releasing him. The trousers definitely had to go.

I paused almost as soon as I'd worked his trousers and boxers off his hips, just taking in the view. Very nice. Long, but not too long. Thick, but not too thick. I couldn't help but put my hand around it and pump up and down a few times.  Josh didn't seem to mind too much, judging by his moans and the way his hips started arching up off the bed. "Please..." he ground out. I pulled his trousers down past his knees and began sliding my way back up his body.

He kicked, trying ineffectually to rid himself of the last of the clothing.

"Problem?"

"Take them all the way off, please." He almost sounded annoyed.

I tossed a handful of condoms onto his chest. "Find one that fits. I'll be right back." I turned and crawled on all fours down to the end of the bed, pulling off the trousers and then his socks as well. As soon as his feet were bare, though, they vanished.

"What?" I started to get up, but he was suddenly kneeling right behind me, pressing his cock against my ass.

"This okay?" he whispered.

I nodded. All of a sudden I'd lost the power of speech. He guided himself toward me, stroking  my clit with his tip. I could already feel my own moisture all over my sex. He found my opening and inched his way in, a bit at a time. He really was thicker around than I'd originally thought.

When he finally had his cock in me all the way, he stopped moving. "Bend your arms," he said, and I rested on my elbows, lifting my ass higher in the air for him. He pulled out just as slowly as he had come in.

Grasping my hips, he started the slow process of entering me again. This time, he reached around and flicked my clit over and over as he inched his way in. When he finally bumped the end of my passage, he held my ass still with both hands and bucked, stretching me even further. I cried out. He withdrew again, achingly slowly, while his fingers found my clit and teased it fast and hard.

By the fifth or sixth time he entered me, I couldn't keep still. My hips were twisting and thrusting, caught between trying to feel him in me fully and trying to increase his touch on my clit. Once he was in all the way he stopped moving entirely. His hand covered the front of my sex but refused to move. I screamed in frustration and writhed any way I could, trying to relieve the tension.

"Consider that payback," he chuckled, ignoring me.

"Josh, please, please don't leave me like this," I begged. "Please move. Do anything. Just please..."

"Say it..." Bastard. He wanted begging? I'd show him begging.

"Josh, Josh, please!"

"Say it."

"Please move...please help me..."

"More."

"Josh, I need you...I need you to move...I need you to...Aaaah..." He had shifted his hand slightly on my sex, just enough to tease without helping the situation at all.

"You need me to what?"

"Aaaaagh....when I recover, you're a dead man!" I screamed.

He laughed again and pulled out of me part way, then thrust in again harder. "Is that what you need?"

"Aaaah...Yes!" No dignity at this point.

His hand moved over my clit a few times. "And that?"

"Yes!"

"Say it."

"Fuck me, Josh," I panted. "Fuck me hard. Fuck me now!" Yes, the dignity train had definitely pulled away from the station.

He didn't respond, but instead grabbed my hips and pulled out of me completely. Before I could react, he was back in me, buried to the hilt. Hard and fast he pounded into me and I screamed.  Then he moved forward, covering my body with his, wrapping his arms around my torso while his hips never stopped thrusting.  With a few flicks I was over the edge and into oblivion again.

He continued to push into me steadily as I recovered. In this position his thrusts were short and I rocked back to meet him each time. He must have been getting close, because he started to call out. The sound of his voice shouting in passion sent a shiver down my spine and I couldn't help but cry out myself.

Then he said the wrong name. I was in no position to be offended. Despite my best efforts to convince him that I figured he just misspoke - and that I certainly didn't mind - he stopped.

Damn.

"Josh," I said, trying some misdirection. "Could we maybe, uh, shift? It's just my elbows..." I trailed off.

"Sure," he said. I'm sure he was a million miles away but he wrapped his arms around my waist and sat back slowly, pulling me into his lap without breaking our connection.

"Maybe I could do some of the work now?" I offered.

"Huh?" How could a man be so close and yet so completely lost in his own thoughts?

I got an idea. Reaching around behind me I pulled his head forward and planted a kiss in his hair. "Hold that thought," I said softly. "I'm only leaving for a second."

He must have processed what I said because he held on to the condom while I eased off of him. Sliding off the bed, I rummaged in my dresser and came back to him with the only silk scarf I owned. It was black with a tasteful delicate creamy pattern, and I absolutely never used it.

"Josh," I said, climbing back onto the bed. It was almost a shame to startle him. He looked like he was meditating in the candlelight, kneeling back with his hands resting on his thighs and his eyes staring off into space. Not to mention that beautiful, blessed erection in his lap.

"Josh," I repeated. "Can I blindfold you?"

He said nothing. I straddled him and covered his eyes with the cloth, tying the knot to one side so it wouldn't dig into the back of his head.

"I want to try something," I explained, running my fingers through his hair and stroking his blindfolded face. "I want you to visualize something and I think it would be nice if you weren't distracted by what's actually around you." Like me.

Still no response. "Josh," I tried again. "Is this okay?"  So much for my pact.

I grasped his shoulders and pushed him back so that he was laying flat on the bed. I climbed onto him then and whispered in his ear. "Josh, I need you to say you're okay."

"Okay," he responded faintly.

I positioned myself over him and grasped his cock, which firmed up again very well under my touch. I sank down on him, enclosing him completely, and contracted my inner muscles to massage him over and over. Then I laid down on top of him and started to move my hips.

"Josh," I whispered in his ear. "What does she look like?"

"What?!" he yelped, startled, nearly clipping my head as he tried to sit up and pull off the scarf.

"Shhhh..." I pushed him back down, running my fingers lightly over his wrists to hold them away from his head, and kept up my slow, thrusting rhythm on his cock. "Tell me." I coaxed him softly. "Let me do this for you. What colour is her hair?"

"Blonde." He said finally, still a bit terse.

"Long or short?"

"It's long. And straight," he said, relaxing as my passage continued to stroke his cock up and down. He shifted his head a bit against the pillow, getting comfortable, but his blindfold remained where it was.

"If she were here, her hair would trail down your chest as she made love to you," I observed.  I trailed my own fingers very lightly across his jaw, his neck, his collarbone, trying to mimic the sensation.

"Yes," he sighed.

"Is she tall or short?"

"Tall..." he trailed off.

"Slim?"

"Oh, yes...not too much, though. She has soft curves...all over..."

I placed one of his hands on my ass and the other on my breast and continued to rock up and down on him, clenching myself around him again.

"And you want to feel them," I whispered close. "Squeeze them..."

"Yes..." His hands tightened on me convulsively and I moaned, starting to move on him faster.

"What else?" I murmured.

"Her skin is so soft...and white..." His hands ran up and down my body, setting my own tanned skin on fire. "It's alabaster..."

" 'That whiter skin of hers than snow, and smooth as monumental alabaster,' " I quoted softly. Because y'know, pulling Shakespeare out of my ass in a crisis situation is just one of my many skills.

"Yes..." he exhaled, now completely enthralled by the pictures in his own mind.

"And you want her," I whispered, my mouth caressing his ear in time with my thrusts.

"Yes..." he groaned.

"A long time..." I stated.

"Yes...God...yes..." he cried out. Suddenly he grasped my hips and rolled so that I was underneath him. He thrust into me hard and deep, setting up a fast, punishing rhythm.

"You want her bad," I cried out, barely able to keep up.

"Yes!" he shouted.

"Like this?" My voice had risen to match his.

"Yes!"

"Take her..."

"Yes!"

"Hard..."

"Yes!" he groaned loudly.

"Make her yours..."

"Yes!" He had no control now, pushing into me wildly over and over again.

"Always..."

"Yes!" he cried out. "Yes - yes - yes -"

He was coming now. Lost in his own mind, his head swooped to claim me for a kiss.  I saw it happening and reached up, putting my hand over his mouth to keep him away. His tongue thrust helplessly between my fingers, seeking any sensation. I rocked my hips up hard to meet his, clenching myself around him to push him over the edge. His body spasmed over and over and I reached between us, finishing myself off one more time by rubbing my own clit hard.

His orgasm finally ended and he collapsed on top of me, panting hard. Eventually his breathing returned to normal and I heard a soft snore. I really didn't feel the need to complain. I reached up and unknotted the blindfold carefully, tossing it out of bed. Then I stroked his hair softly and tenderly, waiting for him to come to.

When he opened his eyes, I smiled at him. Gently, wincing, he withdrew himself from me and took the tissues I handed him to deal with the condom. He seemed at a loss for words.

"Just relax," I said, forestalling anything he might say. "Come sleep for a while." I pulled him back into my arms to spoon around him. "Stay for breakfast, leave early, I don't care. Just rest with me for a while. Please."

I tangled my hands in that fabulous chest hair and held him tight, planting one or two brief kisses on his back. He seemed to relax a bit and I drifted off to sleep.

The candle had burned down when I woke up an hour later, on the opposite side of the bed from him. Somehow we had drifted apart in the night. Carefully, I climbed out of bed and gathered up the remaining condom packets on the bed and floor. I went out into the living room and surveyed the damage. Not much, but I would really rather not leave my unmentionables on the coffee table. Grinning, I went to the closet and stuffed all the condoms into the pockets of his coat. All the pockets. Including the inside ones. Heh. Hopefully he'd discover some of those in an embarrassingly public way.

Returning to the living room with a spare hanger, I hung up his shirt and tie and grabbed my clothes. I shoved my own things into the hamper and then picked up his trousers from the bedroom floor, smoothed them as best I could, and draped them over the hanger as well. I left it hanging from the bathroom doorknob where he could see it and as an afterthought also set out a carefully folded clean towel and one of the little wrapped hotel soaps I always collected but had no use for. Then I went back to bed.

When I awoke again, I was alone. His clothes were gone and the shower I'd tacitly offered had apparently been taken. I consoled myself with the thought that I really didn't have the makings for breakfast for anyone at the moment and the fact that he was in love with a tall, alabaster blonde.

"Four orgasms," I reminded myself aloud. I savoured that for a second. "Woohoo!"

*****

The whole experience stayed with me throughout my stay in DC. This man, Josh, must have had a hell of a reason to say no if he was this far in denial. My last night there, I conceived a half-assed plan to try and figure out what was going on. Very much half-assed...the plan consisted of me showing up at the bar where we met and tactfully trying to ask him. Yeah, I could see about three big problems with this idea already. But I had to at least try and find out, before I trekked back to my little forest research station with only black-capped chickadees for company.

Wandering into the bar, I spotted him almost immediately. I lurked in the shadow of the entryway, trying to employ all my forest-tracking skills to remain inconspicuous while I scoped out the situation. He was there with a bunch of people, including - wait for it - a tall slim blonde. A motion caught my eye and I realized that a young, very cute dark-haired guy had thrown something at Josh. Josh sent it winging back at him but missed and the object struck an older man with a tasteful beard. I peered closer. Yup, the bearded gentleman was Toby Ziegler.  And, if I wasn't mistaken, I was observing a condom fight.

I laughed out loud as Josh and the cute dark-haired guy tossed packets at each other. Oops. So much for my stealth plan. Josh turned in my direction and froze, just for a second, before offering a weak smile. There was nothing to do but walk over there.

"Hi," I said, my best easygoing grin on my face.

"Hi."

"I guess I should have opened with, 'hey baby, come here often?' " I joked.

"Yeah." His shoulders relaxed a bit and all of a sudden he chuckled. "Buy you a beer?"

"Sure." My favourite beer is, after all, free beer. He got up and pulled out his chair for me, but Toby Ziegler stopped him.

"No, take my chair," he said. "Sam and I have a date with the pool table."

I accepted with a gracious thank you. He was pretty handsome for y'know, someone who wasn't a friend to environmentalists. Mark had managed to get the bare minimum we needed from him though, along with a couple of unexpected bonuses, so I wasn't complaining.

And now I was alone at the table with the tall, alabaster blonde.

"Hi," I said.

"Hi." She gave me a polite, if rather cool smile.

Aha.

We sat in silence for a moment. I decided I just had to know. Which meant I had to get her talking.

"What's with the condoms?" I asked, gesturing at the packets strewn all over the table.

"Oh," she said, seeming grateful for something to talk about. "Josh has been pulling them out of his pockets all week...at unexpected times, too. He'll be reaching for his cell phone or wallet and one will spill out...He swears he doesn't know how they got there..."

I chuckled. "Wow. I didn't think it would work that well."

"Huh?"

"That was me." I confessed. "I stuck his pockets full of them. I figured he'd catch on pretty quick and go through his coat once and for all to get them all out."

"He did that today," she admitted. "But I don't understand. You know him?"

"Not well," I shrugged. Except in the biblical sense, but I wasn't going to mention that to her. "I stuffed them into his coat while he was asleep." Okay, maybe I was going to allude to it, but that's not the same thing.

Her face didn't change, but her whole body tensed. Okay, maybe it was the same thing.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I don't mean to cause any trouble. It was casual, and it's over. I'm leaving town..." I broke off, looking at her intently. "You and he..."

"No!" she exclaimed. "Nothing like that. We're just friends." An expression of frustration, guilt, and something else crossed her face. A matching shadow, if you will. What were the chances?

"Oh." I said.

We sat in silence for a minute more. No, I decided. There was no way I was going to keep my mouth shut.

"Well," I grinned conspiratorially. "Can I tell you something? If you get the chance, you really should."

"What?"

"If you get the chance," I repeated. "To y'know...you really should. Absolutely. He's - fantastic."

"Really." she replied stonily.

I pretended not to notice and leaned closer. She couldn't help herself. She leaned in to hear me. "Four." I said, sotto voce.

"Four?" she repeated, not understanding at first. "Oh..."

"But here's the thing," I continued. I was on a roll. "Keep it casual. He's in love with someone else."

I paused, looking for a reaction. She'd gone really still, though, and looked at me impassively.

What the hell. "I'm pretty sure, anyway. He called me Donna," I babbled. "Donna, Donna. And my name's Diana, so maybe he just forgot, but he looked really guilty and apologized..."

I was talking to empty air. She'd picked up and practically run out the back of the bar.

Josh chose that moment to come back with my drink. I grabbed it and took a big swallow.

"Thanks. Uh, Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"It's none of my business, but the girl who was just sitting here..."

"That's Donna," he said. "My assistant."

"Ah." So it was complicated. "Here's the thing, Josh..."

"Yeah?"

"I think I may have accidentally told her."

"Told her?" he was puzzled.

I winced. "Told her you were in love with her..."

"WHAT?" he shouted. "Why would you do such a thing?!?" he roared.

"'Cause you are?" I offered in my meekest tone.

"Diana!" he bellowed. "What?" he asked more quietly. "What have you done?"  

"Josh - go. She ran out the back. Go, find her, tell her right now that it's all a terrible mistake. Apologize for my behaviour."

He didn't move.

"Josh!" I put my hands on his shoulders, shaking him. "Fix this now! You know where I live. You can come by and get angry at me later. Just go get her. Do it."

He stood up then and headed out the back door.

Aside from my lack of tact, there's apparently also my inability to stay out of other people's business. I waited five seconds, downed half my pint, then followed Josh to see what was going to happen.

Huh. Couldn't follow them out through the door into the back alley, that would be too obvious. I looked around. The ladies room didn't back onto the alley, but the men's room did. I rushed in without knocking; fortunately, it was deserted.

A window sat high in the wall and moonlight streamed into the poorly lit room. I scrambled up onto the hot water radiator and stood on tiptoe, which just allowed me to hunch forward and rest my forearms on the window sill and hang there. The tips of my toes swung free, barely brushing the rad.

I had an excellent view. The walled alley was empty except for Josh, Donna, and the chilled white moon. I couldn't hear them, but I could see Josh advancing down the alley in the moonlight, calling to Donna. She said something back with a bit of a sneer. Sarcasm, probably. It was very cold out; the heat of her breath turned to vapour in the air. Still, Josh walked towards her, speaking. She had stopped moving away, and faced him, but didn't appear to answer him. He stopped walking and gazed at her for a moment. The look on his face was indescribable. He took a step forward and said something quietly. Her eyes grew large and she backed up. He stepped forward again and said something else. She stood very still, not reacting, not letting anything show on her face. He advanced again, and again, and again, one step at a time, the quiet intensity on his face clear.

Finally he was right in front of her. She didn't say anything, but she didn't tense when he put his hands on her arms. He rested his forehead against hers and whispered. Her lips parted and her wide eyes stared directly into his. They stood together like that for a few moments, not moving, the mist from their hot breath in the cold air mingling together before escaping upwards in the moonlight.

He thrust his chin forward a bit. Their foreheads still touched, but now his open mouth rested ever so lightly against hers. He sighed into her mouth and they stayed like that a minute longer, not kissing, just very, very close.

He sighed again, causing another cloud of mist to rise. Starting at one side, he brushed his lips over her cheek, her jaw, her forehead, breathing hot air against her skin. Finally, he reached her mouth again and lightly grazed her lips with his. She exhaled in a rush. He grazed her lips again and again, barely making contact but persuading her, wooing her.

All of a sudden she clutched him, her arms winding around his head and back, and pulled him down to her mouth, hard. His hands left her arms and he engulfed her in a crushing embrace, all tenderness gone. Their mouths fused and tongues tangled together, feasting on each other wildly, limbs constantly shifting to find a grip that would press their bodies together more firmly. Finally he lifted her around the waist and her legs locked around his hips. He staggered back against a wall and slid them both to the ground, his mouth never leaving hers.

"Um, excuse me?"

A strange voice startled me from the mesmerizing sight, which I probably shouldn't have been watching anyway.

"Yes?" I struggled for dignity, trying to look around at the speaker while swinging my toes towards the radiator.

"This is the men's room. Can I help you?"

I lost the battle, yielding my purchase on the window sill before locating the rad with my feet, and tumbled to the linoleum floor.

"Ow." I replied. Or groaned, y'know. I rested my forehead against the floor, wrinkling my nose. "Ow. Ow, ow, ow, ow."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," the voice said worriedly.

Another person cleared their throat. "Are you all right, miss?"

I looked up to see Toby Ziegler on one side of me and the cute dark-haired guy named Sam on the other. Sam looked worried; Toby Ziegler seemed concerned.

"Is there anything we can get you?" he asked.

I looked from one to the other as they each took an arm and helped me to my feet.

"Diana sandwich?" I suggested.

"What?"

"Nothing." I replied, smiling. "I'm going."

"At least let me buy you a drink," offered Sam.

"Thanks for the offer," I said. "But I can't. I'm done for the night."

I didn't look back as I strode away through the bar.
 
 

THE END
 
 
 

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