Feedback to SteveAugust 12
The Pentagon confirmed that American fighter pilots are routinely prescribed amphetamines during combat operations. / Kind of puts the slogan "we’ve done more in the morning than you’ll do all day" in a different perspective.
National Rifle Association President, Charles Heston has revealed his doctor says he has symptoms consistent with Alzheimer’s. / As you know Alzheimer’s is about slowly losing your mind; I can’t think of a more appropriate poster-boy for the NRA.
The Catholic Church is looking for $30-milllion to makeup the shortfall World Youth Day cost them. / What a nice change something the youth did screwing the church rather than the other way.
Foreign-travel dangers rose sharply for Canadians in 2001 with the number of assaults rising by fifty per-cent since 1999. / In fairness to the natives of these foreign countries it should be pointed out that the result was mostly because of exuberant cavity searches at customs.
Actor Jason Priestly crashed into a wall at 290km/h at the Kentucky Speedway yesterday, breaking his back and leaving him in serious condition with a concussion and other injuries. / Medical assistance was delayed as the person phoning kept dialing 90210 rather than 911.
The Canadian chapter of People for Ethical Treatment of Animals says American circus animals; especially elephants should be refused entry into Canada as they may have Tuberculosis. / Surely you should be able to tell by their cough.
According to funeral directors more and more people are playing popular songs like "Stairway to Heaven" rather hymns at funerals. / I still say it’s rather nasty to play "Hit the Road Jack."
A man from Texas named John Winter Smith was trying to visit every one of the 3,450 Starbucks on the planet. / You can recognize him, he owns no stocks but nevertheless is extremely jittery.
In Turkmenistan, the President Saparmurat Niyazov is better known as Akbar Turkmenbashi, the Great Leader of all Turkmen. There are cities; streets, mosques, factories and airports already named in his honour, Turkmenbashi. Adding to the honours he’s renaming all of the calendars days and months after various things including changing January’s name to Turkmenbashi. / The citizens of Turkmenistan claim it could have been worse, his name could be Joe-screw-you.
Yesterday was Reverend. Jerry Falwell ‘s sixty-ninth birthday. / He surprised his congregrants by telling them he’d like to enjoy sixty-nine with each of them.