1994/ 12.24
today nothing special...
I think its the first time that i spent today (christmas eve) all day alone. (>_< I'd spend it with u
haido!! but i think i'm still 12 years old tho -_-"""")

1994/ 12.25
To feel the christmas spirit and atmosphere, I went out shopping. Walking alone in Harajuku,
there was a choir singing christmas carols "kiyoshi kono yoru" ( which is Silent night in english)
under this big christmas tree. Listening to that, I feel the christmas spirit fully. I think I should
go home and sleep early at such a day.

1994/ 12.27
I went to watch Luna Sea concert in Buddokan. Talking about live, the last one I went to watch Body (?) at shibuya
in spring. I watched Modern Chokis (?). By the way, I was reading fan letters and I realized that many ppl saw me at
LIVES. How come..hmm...as if there's another me out there. And today, my nightmare started..... my throat kinda hurts,
i had a mask (?facial?) for maintence reasons (haha). Hmm, to think about it i haven't had any cold for many years, I thought,
I'm pretty confident of my health, so I thought i'd probably heal in a day or so.

1994/12.28
when i woke up i think i'm fine now, but i slept the whole day.

1994/12.29
my cold got worse again. I went into a hot bath and took some medecine, and slept.

1994/12.30
I'm almost healed completely. Yay. The year is over..hmm

1994/12.31
In the morning, some furniture that i bought on the 25th came. I was so happy i was looking at it for a while
bare feet (coz i just woke up). Then i felt i was shiverring a bit, although i was confident with my health I returned to bed.
When i next woke up, i took my temperature and its up again. This is my worst new years eve in my life...

1995/1.1
When it hit midnight, sakura called and said " happy new year!" to me. Without thinking that its mean to sakura i just hung up (aiyo..haido..)
my temperature rose again, I can't believe I have to see the doctor on new years day.

1995/1.2
dreaming with a fever is no fun...but i continued sleeping.

1995/1.4
my body temperature still measures a long red line on the thermometere, but i have a lot of lyrics to write....
i finally made myself some food, ...around 6 days after i recovered i started writing lyrics, and then "saiyaku da" (kinda means,
damn this sucks..)became my motto...

1995/1.9
work since new year. I went to this recording at FM Fuji with sakura. Its the first time i even met anyone since new years....,
I've met the DJ many times before so we had some nice talk. When we finished recording we saw Kyo from Die in Cries (wow they are
already acquainted at that time ^^?) and he said " i'll give u CD next time ". hmm..really? ... After that all 4 of us went for ARENA 37C, and we had
meeting about Ciel Vol.0 till very late.

1995/2.5
I hadn't been writing the diary for almost 1 month. Well... to date back to....
(below are January entries)

-11th, we started rehersing for concert

-17th, my "art" friend asked me " hey, the art exhibition at yokohama is nice, lets go", i skipped rehersal to go. (haha)
But in front of the art musemu there's like no one. I said " Hirai chan ( oh btw, Hirai..this is the guy in the book " IS " who drew that portrait
of haido!) maybe its closed today?" and just as we were saying it we saw the sign on the door and it says its closed. So we went to chinatown
to eat some food quickly and went home. Today to mention is also the day of the Great Hanshin earthquake ( the Kobe area),
many fans sent me postcards to ask if I'm alright, I'm very fine so please dont' worry. You guys are really nice ne, hmm for me, I'm the type of
person who'd call 1 week later to ask..haha

-19th We took pictures for the cover of Time Limit. We started late so we worked till almost the morning.

-24th Live at Osaka. We can't surround the venue (?), so the feather falling part ran into problems. Mr.Comet (tetchan?)
spoke to the ppl there and they finally made it. Because its a concert rite after the earthquake, for some fans, its unfortunate that they
finally joined "Ciel" but still couldn't come, for some others, they even rode bikes to come. Even if the fans couldn't come,the most important thing is that they are all doing well (after the earthquake).

-25th today we're at our "indies homeground" the "Rockets" ( live house). During "Dune", instead of shooting out silver tapes we used crackers instead. Um, but Ciel members, you guys need to work on the timing! This time I'd say its 60 points.... anyway, aftewards, if u guys go to a bar, try drink 3 "Nikolaschka" (a kind of cocktail?) it makes you so dreamy! try it!

-30th we're at shibuya today. the crowd was great, your voices were like surrounding! by the way, ken twisted his leg in the 1st song, then without knowing he was twisting it around still, and funny that it healed like that too. And since we have entered danger crue, this staff fujishima san has helped us a lot, and today is his last day, we owe him a lot of thanks and we'll miss him. ah, and something i forgot to say, Kyo san (die in cries) did not forget to give me the CD that he promised (refer to the 9th of this month). He really is an attractive vocal. Anyhow, concerts are now finish for the time being, and I'd have to start arranging songs soon. Good night everyone.

1995/ 2.6
When I woke up i felt weird.... Ah..God...plzzzzz..return me the ability to be immune (to being sick again..haha) >_<~! I got a cold again!!!!!!! my god.... and then i slept the rest of the 6 following days...
this really sucks... its almost same as the cold i had previously at the end of the year, although i'm used to it but my temperature won't go down, and it was difficult for me to go buy some drinks....sigh, i really know what loneliness is >_<!

1995/ 2.13
I thought my temperature's lower.... so, this lonely and sick me just had to accept the work such as the recording for popjam......
And Tsunku from SharanQ, whom i've met quite a few times here at NHK, was thinking of something that we both have in common
that we can talk about in the show. we talked about coming from kansai area etc, and about what type of girls we like...
anyway the big problem was the singing part. I almost cried during the rehersal, to tell you the truth i really wanted to go home.. anyway
when the real recording came, i told myself "voice, please come out!" when I tried to sing, i was quite scared... sigh, what has happened
to me this year!?